it means we refuse to give up
As much as I love working by myself when I am writing, translating or crafting a new meditation, I have to admit that team work has advantages. But hold your breath, dear reader, team work is not what you think. I admit that I use the word team largely influenced by the #team”whateverthenameofthepersonorthechallengeis” which has spread everywhere, from TV shows to sports and bachelor parties. OK maybe I should use the word tribe, yet again this word might send your imagination to an unknown territory, dancing in the moonlight and smoking strange plants. So I fully claim the word team this time. Team work can cover some less advertised way of living your life and especially your challenges. It’s not only about business or sports.
Some people — myself included a very long time ago in another galaxy — see it as a failure to ask for help. The way I see it, is that it means we refuse to admit we can’t reach our goals by ourselves. That our ego rejects the possibility of surrendering and asking for support.
While it’s now widely known that it takes 22 days to implement a new habit, we tend to forget than we really need to aim at 66 days to truely embrace the habit, changing the discipline into a blissipline in the process. Robin Sharma sums it up very well in his book The 5 am Club : “All change is hard at first, messy in the middle and gorgeous at the end.” Personaly I think the messy part is what is the trickiest. We did the hard part. We refused to give up and tried to keep up with our intention. And as it’s getting tougher, we usually tend to understand that a friend, a coach, a mentor whoever would be reliable enough and supportive enough for us could be an important asset for us during that process. Yet that’s precisely when we don’t dare to ask or hire that asset. We have this twisted thought that asking for help is the equivalent of giving up. And also as if it was advertising our failure. As if the challenge, whatever it is, had to be lived alone. As if it were a sign of weakness to stop and say: I need help. Especially if we did start alone during the first 22 days.
But come on, Wake up! That is non sense! Again it is the ego which casts its shadow over us. Because you know what ? Asking for help means we are so committed to our success that we use all the support and ressources available to help us succeed. It means we want to attract success, whatever it takes; whatever it takes in a healthy way. And thus refusing to ask for help really means that we believe we won’t succeed. No witness, no crime.
All successful CEOs, Gold Medal Olympic winners or Oscar winner actors have a team. They always acknowledge the people who have been there for them along their journey to success. THEY ASKED FOR HELP.
Asking for help means we want to shine bright, embrace our genius and share it with the world. Reaching goals, from winning a Formula 1 race to quit smoking or stop binging on Netflix, doesn’t need to be a solo path where we carry the burden of guilt or failure or stubborness in a masochistic way, as if sweating and falling and losing was noble when done alone. Let me tell you once and for all: that is total BS. There is no beauty in wasting your genius and sweat by renouncing to a support team; in fact, my darling, wasting your fabulousness will most likely drive you crazy and make you a quitter. There it is, I said it! And quitting is not what you want. Winning is your intention. Quitting is losing time. Winning is stepping up to the world and allowing you to serve others too. Because when you shine, honey, you inspire.
You are unique and the world needs you. Don’t waste your talent. Ask for help so that you can thrive. Suffering is not the goal. And if your challenge is to lose weight or go to the gym, well it’s valid too to ask for help. Don’t travel alone.
Love from V.
Feel free to reach out if you need a compass or a supporting team. That’s what coaching is here for, wherever you are in life.
